People said that patience is a virtue, and good things take time. I personally don't have enough patience when dealing with some things, even when I'm doing things that I really like. I always have this "zero patience" written on my forehead every time I do something, especially when I'm having conversations with people who have zero common sense and empathy. Here I am wondering, how my 18 years old self wanted to be a therapist and dared to even think of majoring in psychology. I couldn't understand people, I couldn't stand people.
I actually am writing this spontaneously because I have lost my cool trying to fix my blog, constructing it according to my style. For some reason, after months of leaving and forgetting (again) that I have a blog, I actually wonder how did the 14 years old I have so much patience in decorating my blog. I actually sat hours in front of my laptop, finding cute templates, learning HTML codes, going through shit tons of websites. That's probably a power someone with 1.0% of stress levels had.
I am now mentally unhealthy with an attention span of a spoon, trying to fix my blog with new stylings.. is now sitting in front of my laptop like a fool. Not to mention that my poor eyesight could not stand being in front of the screen for hours. The fact that my personality and habits change multiple degrees and I don't even know my true self. Was it the patient me nine years ago or is it the me now whose attention span shorter than a toddler and patience as thin as ice.
All this rambles with no greetings and double-checks because of the high stress level from finding out how to do blogs that have been upgraded. Not going to lie some of the high stress levels is caused by being a perfectionist too. Everything I tried doesn't seem to fit my likings, hence I'm stressing out. My advice to kids out there if you're reading this, don't be too much of a perfectionist. Or else, you'll become like me. My closed ones are so gonna laugh at me for taking a decoration of my blog too much concern and space over my head but uhh.. I can't sleep it off.
By the way, it's almost October. I am left with one semester and an internship before graduating. I still am not sure what to do. So, how's adulthood going to you?
